Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
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He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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