The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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