I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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