Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god it's open bar.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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