The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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