Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize