I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
