At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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