I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
