I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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