it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
