before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
