his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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