My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
