Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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