i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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