We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
