oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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