I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.