"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure