Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
