Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
