Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.

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  (609): ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked. http://tfl.nu/ufr2
  Replies (3) Good night (3341) Bad night (586)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

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  (312): Is it possible to jerk off a nipple? http://tfl.nu/fsvj
  Replies (9) Good night (964) Bad night (2823)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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  (217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7
  Replies (47) Good night (9025) Bad night (1117)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

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  (919): CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us http://tfl.nu/dd67
  Replies (80) Good night (3586) Bad night (4746)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.

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  (317): The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope. http://tfl.nu/lawp
  Replies (25) Good night (5441) Bad night (1293)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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  (917): your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin? http://tfl.nu/252o
  Replies (16) Good night (4086) Bad night (2194)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award

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  (336): i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award http://tfl.nu/t3kf
  Replies (17) Good night (6117) Bad night (1388)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  What happened to him?

  (1-501): View more from Arkansas

  He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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  (501): What happened to him? (1-501): He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum http://tfl.nu/owcl
  Replies (4) Good night (4099) Bad night (742)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.

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  (406): You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it. http://tfl.nu/4hyg
  Replies (9) Good night (1312) Bad night (2795)
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  (310): View more from California

  Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Shall we take a trip back?

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  (310): Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times. (1-310): Shall we take a trip back? http://tfl.nu/btgk
  Replies (6) Good night (1985) Bad night (623)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.

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  (+61): Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on. http://tfl.nu/q17g
  Replies (13) Good night (3544) Bad night (999)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it

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  (505): Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it http://tfl.nu/hkkt
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (603)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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  (414): Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended http://tfl.nu/wygn
  Replies (0) Good night (942) Bad night (361)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?

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  (605): seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys? http://tfl.nu/ijfs
  Replies (9) Good night (918) Bad night (475)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards

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  (617): Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards http://tfl.nu/yj2o
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (240)

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