Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk

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  (410): After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk http://tfl.nu/jjss
  Replies (4) Good night (5025) Bad night (688)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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  (623): Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again. http://tfl.nu/wv7w
  Replies (23) Good night (835) Bad night (3875)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology

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  (313): i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology http://tfl.nu/1r1t
  Replies (10) Good night (4952) Bad night (934)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (3160) Bad night (1073)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

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  (979): Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/p1v5
  Replies (3) Good night (1843) Bad night (727)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend

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  (312): Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend http://tfl.nu/fw95
  Replies (7) Good night (1662) Bad night (691)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.

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  (778): You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you. http://tfl.nu/kryn
  Replies (5) Good night (2691) Bad night (1035)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

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  (281): Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning http://tfl.nu/3d0d
  Replies (10) Good night (1164) Bad night (908)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...

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  (+61): For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up... http://tfl.nu/ld08
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (1000)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  This is a rough morning for me

  (577): View more from

  No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.

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  (630): This is a rough morning for me (577): No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma. http://tfl.nu/q4hk
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (1230)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.

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  (614): There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse. http://tfl.nu/wnun
  Replies (4) Good night (1368) Bad night (550)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over

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  (503): drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over http://tfl.nu/dlzy
  Replies (9) Good night (1432) Bad night (702)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.

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  (914): I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot. http://tfl.nu/25dg
  Replies (9) Good night (1172) Bad night (660)
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  (530): View more from California

  I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me

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  (530): I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me http://tfl.nu/myp4
  Replies (1) Good night (1114) Bad night (450)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?

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  (360): why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends? http://tfl.nu/xe6r
  Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (357)

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