Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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