Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
