We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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