I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
