Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
