I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
