Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.