I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Still dying that you shit outside
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.