She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?