I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
