Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
