I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
