Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
