I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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