Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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