New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize