pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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