Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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