just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
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How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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