when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
