she smelled like a LAN party
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
