you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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