guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
