Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
