i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
