I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
