Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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