he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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