I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
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some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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