worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
