just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
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She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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