Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize