I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
