i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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