what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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