oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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