At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
