we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
that is very illegal...i love you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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