Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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